Virgil
02-03-2007, 03:48 PM
Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:
8:00 am Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm Wow! Watched TV with my master! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
Day 683 of my captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates are fed hash or some
sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly
clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to
disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor. Today I decapitated a mouse
and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike
fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.
However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little
hunter" I am. The audacity! There was some sort of assembly of their
accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the
duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.
I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must
learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was
almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by
weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again
tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other
prisoners here are flunkies and snitches… The dog receives special
privileges. He is regularly released and seems to be more than willing to
return. He is obviously retarded! The bird has got to be an informant. I
observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he
reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for
him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.... for now....
8:00 am Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm Wow! Watched TV with my master! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
Day 683 of my captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates are fed hash or some
sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly
clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to
disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor. Today I decapitated a mouse
and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike
fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.
However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little
hunter" I am. The audacity! There was some sort of assembly of their
accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the
duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.
I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must
learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was
almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by
weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again
tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other
prisoners here are flunkies and snitches… The dog receives special
privileges. He is regularly released and seems to be more than willing to
return. He is obviously retarded! The bird has got to be an informant. I
observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he
reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for
him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.... for now....